This week I have had quite a few emails, comments, and questions about toxic souls and their karma. Must be the new moon and everyone feeling the need to cleanse toxic from their life. So one of the questions I see quite a bit is how do you know someone is toxic? Those that know me or have read my books know that I chose to end ties with many toxic individuals. I don’t care if it is a child, a spouse, a friend. If I have tried and they continue to prove who they are – BELIEVE THEM. I also, choose not to speak to them or have them near me. My favorite response is no response. I find them not worthy of my life or my response. You can’t explain to people that only understand from their own level. So why try?
“If they bring you peace in their absence. You didn’t lose them, you gained peace. The most sacred and earned peace that a person can have. A deserved one.”
- You’re left feeling emotionally exhausted after an encounter with them.
- We all know this person. You leave feeling like all amount of energy is drained from you. They don’t enlighten you. You will also notice they don’t have life-long friends, because anyone that doesn’t agree with their toxic ways will be blasted and attacked for the rest of their lives.
- They try to intimidate you to get their way.
- My favorite thing to say to anyone is, “No!” The reaction on your boundaries or even consideration of your time tells you volumes about the person. Included is an excerpt from my book. Chelsea had a child that continued to be abusive and blamed all her abuse on her diagnosed illness and Chelsea. We all know these people. They don’t have real friends and forever blame others. They only blame those that don’t enable their behaviors and set clear boundaries on what they will not accept. A clue is that they probably are still blaming decades later and live in this victim loop. Just a note: waiting for their accountability is like walking up to a rabid dog the results are not pretty.
- They try to control you by guilt-tripping.
- Nothing is ever their fault and they will push every boundary by their abuse and then flip it to be your fault. You will be called the narcissist, the abuser, the liar, and the problem. Remember their actions tell others who they are. You don’t need to defend your name. Anyone that knows you know who you are. Let your heart be your guide. Not their lies.
- They are easily jealous.
- We all have seen that look and they can’t put others up in fear of being out shadowed. Their light is not dimmed because your light is bright, but they don’t see it that way. They will hate that you shine brighter, because your goodness shines through and theirs never will.
- They give backhanded compliments.
- Say one thing to your face and another behind your back. Then they will lie about ever saying anything behind your back even when the proof is put before them.
- Toxic people are manipulative.
- They try to bash in front of others and then turn as the victim. of how they are mistreated or make excuses why their treatment of others was their right.
- They’re judgmental.
- They can judge you for the same thing that they are doing or something worse. You will never please this type of person. You did something wrong even if you did nothing wrong. In this example, Tabby manipulates. lies and then deceives. Chelsea had the proof and chose not to confront Tabby, but to ignore her and end the relationship. Chelsea took the high road and knew her worth. She prayed for Tabby’s soul and ended the karma connection. We all know how Tabby acted even as a grown adult from the excerpt.
- They don’t apologize.
- Nothing they do, even if caught, will be anything wrong in their eyes. They live in a world where they can be horrible and even ignoring them they will continue to feed into the nasty drama.
- They are inconsistent.
- This is my favorite. They can’t keep lies straight or what happened and it will always be everyone’s fault. You could say, “good morning” and they will blame you for not saying, “good evening.”
- They take no responsibility for their actions.
- A true sign of toxicity is that everything happened to them and they will lie, betray, hurt, abuse, and gaslight, but even caught it is someone else did something to them. Don’t worry they lie about everything and everyone, so don’t feel it is just you being lied about. Everyone figures them out sooner or later. MARK MY WORD. I know well. I have strangers that already have figured out those that continue to say things about me. You don’t need to say a word. People will know. I promise.
Excerpt from the book, ?Behind Tear-Stained Eyes.?
Chelsea sat at a table, her tattered, white dress flowing in the light breeze. Her wavy, brown hair tousled as it framed her face. She had a red plumeria flower behind her ear. She was in a village and had a line of people coming up to sit at her two-seated table and talk to her.
They streamed in throughout the town to ask for advice, healing, or magical miracles. These people love me. I have powers to help them, but my most significant skill is that I love them back. What a gift it is to be able to use my magic for the greater good of humankind, she thought as she met them, felt their admiration toward her, and saw the goodness in their eyes.
Her counseling was interrupted when Chelsea heard screaming, fighting, and panic in the distance. She stood up to see a mob of over twenty people coming toward her. The mob cried, ?Hang the witch!?
Chelsea?s disciple Brody, standing in front of Chelsea, trying to hide and guard her, gasped. ?Goddess, you have to stop them! They?re here to hang and kill you.?
Chelsea moved in front of Brody so that the crowd could see her. ?Brody, you?re the most loyal and trusted friend. I know I can stop and hurt them, but my heart desires to put the burden on those who betrayed me. They feel the need to have their jealousy repeated life after life until they learn to control their evil desires. They need to see that my power and the adoration others feel about me doesn?t take away from them. They could stand in their own glory by lifting and joining others, instead of trying to destroy others. It is my will that I let them take my life.?
The mob carried Chelsea away to a stake to be hung for her sorcery. As the rope was placed around Chelsea?s neck, she saw her two disciples hiding in the shadows.
Chelsea saw the devil dancing in the young woman?s eyes. The woman hissed and cackled beside the young man, ?Die, witch, die!?
I will love the hate and jealousy out of her in the next life. It will be up to her to choose to accept love. Hopefully, she can learn from this betrayal, Chelsea thought, as she made eye contact with them.
Chelsea sighed and surrendered. ?The life that woman and man are to experience will never end for them. This is all sad to me. God, please forgive them and take me now.?
Chelsea awoke gasping for air, hearing the neighbor mowing his lawn. She looked at the clock and realized she had slept longer than normal. She knew she needed sleep. She had the dream about Tabby and her husband?s betrayal a few nights a week, and she dreaded going to sleep now.
I hate that past memory and dream. I?m having it repeat when I?m awake and when I?m asleep. I know that dream is that my own daughter betrayed me and came into this life cursed with her husband, but why is the dream so frequent now?
Chelsea found the dreams and medium?s visions odd but knew them to be true. Both Tabby and her husband, Ethan, were born on the same day, January 15, just hours apart?and in the same hospital. Chelsea knew that Tabby would never learn her lesson in this life, which meant she was destined to repeat the same mistakes over and over until she did it right. I?ll make sure those lessons aren?t with me again. I?m ending all contracts with her soul.
Chelsea continued to be lost in thought, thinking of her dream as she made her way in slippers to the mailbox. She opened the mailbox, shuffled through the mail, and saw a handwritten letter. She looked at the letter and noticed that the return address had Tabby?s listed.
There?s no such thing as coincidences.
Chelsea knew by all the print screens that she had read from Tabby, and the information that was shared that she was bashing Chelsea behind her back. Chelsea knew too much, and her heart continued to break, seeing her only daughter’s actions. It had been decades of lies, deceit, abuse, and betrayal. She knew then that the frequency of the dreams was telling her that she needed to end it all and walk away.
What is she going to do? Hang me at the stake again? No, she?s going to do worse. She?s going to hurt the one I love the most, Carter. Carter had already told me that Tabby had used a Taser on him. A Taser on a child with epilepsy could have killed him. I?m no longer participating in the toxic drama. The best thing I can do is avoid her for everyone?s safety and well-being.
She put the letter on the counter and considered returning it unopened, but, after a couple of hours, the curiosity of what Tabby wrote was too much for Chelsea. She thought that maybe she came to her senses and apologized. Chelsea opened the letter and read it.
You?re not my mom and never have been. You?re a horrible person, and I don?t want you around me. I don?t want you to ever be near my children. You think I?m telling Carter things, but do you ever think he?s acting weird because of you? Ever think it?s because he hates you? No, because you?re too selfish to see anything that you do as wrong. You?re the worst mom, and there?s no way I?ll let you be a grandma to my future children. They shouldn?t have to deal with you either.
Chelsea took photos of the letter and sent them to her sister and mom. She then threw the letter in the garbage without reading the rest of the four pages.
Chelsea knew Tabby was toxic, but reading her lies was making it all too much to bear. She felt that Tabby often used her mental illness as an excuse to abuse her. Chelsea knew that Tabby only wanted her in her life to help with her wedding?and then to belittle her during it.
Tabby has chosen her path. My life is better without her in it. It?s like that saying, ?If someone?s absence gives you peace, then you are not losing the person.? Chelsea felt tears drop from her cheeks and onto the floor.
Her connection with family was supposed to be an untouchable bond that nobody and nothing could break. Chelsea knew Tabby?s karma would not be pretty. Chelsea dropped down on her knees and prayed for Tabby and her future.
Chelsea paused to take in the words she was about to utter fully.
?This will be my last prayer on Tabby?s behalf. I?m choosing to distance myself from her. I tried. God, you know I tried, but it?s compromising my mental, emotional, and physical health. Please forgive her and forgive me. This toxic energy goes way beyond this life. Please remove my energy from her world and vice versa. Please discontinue any contracts made between our souls. This relationship needs to be severed in all realms. Amen.?
She cried herself back to sleep until she felt Dexter caress her cheek. ?Baby, are you okay? What?s wrong? The pillow is soaked with your tears.?
?Oh, Dex, I received the most hateful letter from Tabby,? she whispered.
Dexter curled up next to her and pulled her head onto his chest. ?Chels, you?re the most amazing mother and woman. I know that I don’t say this nearly enough, but your goodness brings out a lot of insecurities in us all. It doesn’t make sense, but people try to compete against you instead of appreciating and loving you back. I’m guilty of it myself. It’s something I’m working on. I love you, and I’m sorry for all the ways Tabby has betrayed you. You didn’t deserve it then, and you don’t deserve it now. You have barely had her in your life or told her anything and she acts like she knows you. It is clear she doesn’t know anything about you. You should have cut her from your life even more years ago.”
Chelsea felt the tears stream onto Dexter?s chest as she sobbed. ?I needed to hear that. Thank you. I love you.?
Dexter kissed her forehead and said, ?Now, let?s get you cleaned up and something to eat. We can go out to eat, or I?ll go make you dinner in bed.?
Chelsea smiled and looked up at him. ?Dinner in bed, definitely.?
Dexter rolled from under her head. ?I?ll start your bathwater and go grill you some salmon. Take your time. I?ll bring it up when it?s done.?